The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize