just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
