The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
