He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
