I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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