some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
