I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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