I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
