honey bunches of taint.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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