There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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