Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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