i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
