I just saw a hot homeless man
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
