Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
