There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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