i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
