You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
