But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
