Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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