Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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