maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
