I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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