So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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