My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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