he was CRYING into my vagina
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
