lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize