There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
