Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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