i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
