what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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