my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
