Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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