Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize