life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
