It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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