you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
