I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
