before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
