You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
