Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
