I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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