508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
