I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
