EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize