You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
