i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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