is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
