Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
