Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
