I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
