you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
