Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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