why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
