mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize