I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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