playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
