i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
