this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
