No stitches, just platelets and will power
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize