we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
