i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize