He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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