u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
