I'm going to jail i love you
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
