Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
last night I used snow as a chaser
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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