if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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